"I was not always human", Abu Ubaidah

cw: Death mentions

there was once an x-men character with wings
pressured to hide them from his own father
he mutilated his mutant body to escape
but his father saw him a fallen angel
needing shifa for his blasphemous existence
if he were a fallen angel, at least he could fly
descend from the heavens at maghrib
with nūr irradiating his huge face-
would not heaven love its own child?

unlike the angel i was poultry
awaiting abuse and slaughter
flesh desecrated and pumped with
roids - stab stains all over my body
hidden beneath thick plumage
for i too sprouted wings at the ripe age of 18
but they grew right out of my flanks
two green beans decided to germinate
and left me with pointless pinions and
pain and spike traps in the sky

what kind of useless fowl has his wings
circumcised? why would a creature who
could fly stay solitary for a whole while?
why were there not an easier way to die?
and even then, why would that sacrifice
lead to hell? a fire rusted my soul away
as i beseeched God to make me incinerate
greater flames than that of naraka. my
body a vessel of regret, my soul sinful

i should have known these ugly wings were mine alone
even with its metastasis, my chest still drums a foolish beat
my wingspan evolves with the days i have left, it will
carry me to the promised land someday, as fallen human
or angel

/ Abu Ubaidah is an aspiring social worker and enjoys the simple pleasures in life such as singing in the shower. He lives with kidney failure and he often writes about illness. 

READ: “it is meant to part / like that”, Damon Leong →

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